Never Goodbye
by JMisLB
Summary: "Julia," he breathed her name like a prayer. The wind was cool and everytime he released air, he could see it. Clare was slow in taking his hand, their fingers lacing. Eli tore his eyes from the headstone and found her baby blues. "Clare,"


"Julia," he breathed her name like a prayer. The wind was cool and every time he released air, he could see it. Clare was slow in taking his hand, their fingers lacing. Eli tore his eyes from the headstone and found her baby blues. "Clare," it was the same, the way he said their names. He had loved Julia in the only way he knew how and here he was, he'd fallen in love again. Julia had been his first love, but Clare was something more and he felt he should be guilty, but he couldn't and the air around them wasn't tense. It was calm, it was almost as if Julia was saying, be happy, be happy, Eli.

"I need to let go," his words were slow and she leaned in, listening carefully. "This is unfair to you." His eyes shined and if he cried, she'd be right there. "You don't have to let go. I understand, Eli. I do. But she's here," her free hand found his chest, over his heart. It was the most precious thing to her. "She's in your heart and your memories. I don't want you to let that go. She was there before me and I'm not bitter. All I can ask is that you love me, too." She blushed, because those words. It was too soon, maybe. But she felt deep down that they were headed that way. Headed for three words, eight letters.

He didn't freak out and it made her sigh with relief. "But I need you, I need you like the stars need the sky. You keep me grounded, you keep me okay. I -can- love you. I... I will, I... I already am."

Her big eyes blinked and he feared that maybe he had said too much. Maybe this was the wrong place. No maybe. It was. He sighed and touched his hand to Julia's headstone. "Goodnight, goodbye." Tears fell down his cheeks and trees ruffled in the distance. Clare touched her lips to his cheek. "Never goodbye, Eli. Never goodbye." He didn't understand but he was thankful, he was lucky. She was understanding and where else would he find that? He stood up, his eyes on the grave. He pulled Clare up with him gently and his eyes found her eyes, her face. He literally drank her in, he opened his mouth to speak but she put her pointer finger against his bottom lip, shaking her head.

She pulled him along, being careful to miss any graves. Confused, he followed her. She leaned against Morty, letting go of his hand, she wiped at her cheeks. She was crying. She didn't know Julia. Maybe it was seeing Eli cry, she didn't know. His hands cupped her cheeks and his thumbs worked gently, removing the tears. "I, Clare. I'm sorry." He was being so quiet. His heart was sinking, she didn't say anything. He knew that they were new, but he couldn't help the pull in his chest.

Clare's eyes watered over again. "W-why are you apologizing?" She put her hands over his own, against her cheeks. "When I said it, where I said it." He said, as if it were obvious. But was it? She raised her eyebrows, she had been around him too long, as her reply came out sly and slightly snar ky in a playful way. "Well, you didn't exactly say it, Mr. Goldsworthy." He cracked a smirk and leaned in closer, dropping one of his hands from her cheek to wrap his arm around her waist. Eli pulled her from Morty and she stumbled flush against him, ignoring the blush on her cheeks. It was cold out, but she was hot. Her skin burnt and it wasn't bad, she didn't mind because it was him.

"Clare Edwards?"

She tried not to grin and failed. "So formal."

He didn't stop, though, his thumb brushed against the corner of her lips. "I'm falling in love with you." She knew, maybe, that it was coming. But the words knocked the air from her chest and she fell helplessly. Her heart picked up and slowed down in the same second and she opened her mouth. Words failed her. He looked worried, hurt. She shook her head and when words continued to fail her, she griped his cheeks gently and leaned up on her toes, pressing her lips firmly against his. Eli, he was surprised, but it was good and natural, their lips together. They moved slowly but she was desperate, he could feel it. Clare poured every bit of herself into that kiss. She wanted him to feel that she too, was falling in love with him. And it was better than any fairytale.

Eli pressed her gently against Morty and when their lips fell away, for just a second, she whispered the words. His heart picked up. It was said in a breath, their lips brushing. Clare wasn't hesitant and it made his lips turn into a gentle smirk. "I'm falling in love with you, Eli." She opened her eyes and kissed his lips again. They kissed with their eyes open and she pulled back, not finished. "I should run from you. You make me a wreck, you're wreckless. But I know I wouldn't get far from you before I'd come back, looking for your arms."

He didn't know what to say. But the thought of her running from him panged in his chest. "Don't run, but? If you do. I'm here. My arms will only ever hold you." He said it and when he did, he knew that it was truth. "I'm stuck, you're stuck with me until you no longer want me. And even then. I'm here. I'm yours."

Clare blinked as his fingers ran through her hair before cupping her cheek once more. "I can't, though. Run from you. I should. But I can't. And I? I'm yours." They were young and in love. Would they last? They hoped. Their eyes met and they felt they would and only time would tell. But either way, neither of them were willing to let this go, let them go.

They were done talking, though, as their lips met in the middle and Clare melted against him, letting their kiss deepen unlike any of their others. Closing her eyes, she fell but she wasn't afraid, Eli was there at the bottom, waiting for her.

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or the characters.


End file.
